My Choice

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I’m not a prude but I’m not comfortable with this short film on women empowerment where the woman says “To have sex before marriage.To have sex outside of marriage. My choice” 

Does this statement imply that the makers of this short film are saying it’s ok for a woman to want sex outside of marriage ? That is Adultery ! And no matter how you choose to justify it or rationalise it… It still is betraying another person that you are in a committed relationship with !

And how would people react if there was a film of this nature released on the public platform where a Man proudly claims “I want sex outside of marriage” !!!
Wouldn’t we all scream in outrage & say how dare he want to commit adultery ???
So it’s ok for a woman to say she wants sex outside of marriage & us to think this is empowering her in some way ? I’m sorry but I don’t get this at all …
Let’s give the devil it’s due & try to understand why they made this statement. These are the various scenarios which could have prompted this line:
1) The woman is in a bad marriage & her husband is having sex outside of the marriage so perhaps the woman wants to do the same … She can do whatever the man does & therefore she is empowered ! Really ? Or is the act actually not retaliation. She’s doing this because she wants to get back at him or maybe they have reached a stage of apathy where each one is doing whatever they want.
2) The woman is in a good marriage but still wants to have sex outside marriage! Fine … That’s your choice definitely as long you’re willing to grant it to your man too. Because otherwise this whole women empowerment thing is imbalanced. 
But whatever the reason a choice which would cause hurt to either partner in a relationship is definitely not empowering.
Sex is a beautiful act when it’s between 2 mature consenting adults. Man/ woman, man/man, woman/woman. But the minute the rules change for either partner then there’s an imbalance. 
To have “my choice” is very important but along with it comes great responsibility. So if I have the choice to say or do whatever I want… I should also choose what I say & do wisely.
And that’s what I have a problem with !
I hope they explain the reason behind this line…   
Because otherwise My Choice merely advocates some sort of lopsided feminism.
The Film
The Male Version 

10 comments

    1. Great to hear what you have to say. Very true whatever choice we make comes with consequences. So it’s always wise to think before we act.
      Love your thoughts and the way you always put them in words.

  1. Are the film makers saying Adultery is a choice that will empower women? Are they expecting the men to be given the same choice, now that they have a film which gives women that choice?

  2. Hi Mansi…I am so glad you said what you did…kudos to you for standing up for committed relationships and addressing adultery in a video that’s supposed to empower women and not pass on a wrong message about being empowered!

  3. What a balanced point of view. Totally agree with this, we can’t have it every which way and expect to gain respect. We women must pick our battles. And live with grace. You’ve summed it up beautifully – more of this coming, hopefully 🙂

  4. Very well written.
    The whole point of empowerment is totally blown out of proportion today. Yes women were ill treated n dominated .they were not given rights to education ,work or speak their minds.when we talk of empowerment,it’s about the right to have choices to education,life partner,make a career or walk out of disrespectful or abusive relationships. Two wrongs can never make a right. Sex before marriage is a personal choice of an adult but if one is so dissatisfied in a marriage…move out and do what you want to.

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